TIME FRAME: JANUARY 1510
CAST OF CHARACTERS AND POSITIONS
CAROL---Proprietress of the Rendon Township Inn---Wife of James
JAMES---Innkeeper and part-time Under Sheriff of Rendon Township---Husband of Carol
JIM E-----High Alderman of Rendon Township-----Husband of Sharon, and Blender of Spirits
ROBERT--Rendon Township Lay-about and Ne'er do well
CHESTER R--Rendon Township Elder and Administrator of Ducking Stool Punishments-------Husband of Sally, and sometime Blender of Spirits
CURTIS--Rendon Township Lay-about and Ne'er do well
JIM H----Rendon Township Elder and Mediator-----Husband of Darlene
REX-----Rendon Township Beekeeper
PAT J---Under Alderman of Rendon Township-----Husband of Nellie
JERRY--Rendon Township Lay-about and Ne'er do well, Blender of Spirits
LARRY--Rendon Township Surveyor
JAY S----Rendon Township Trainer of Trainable Animals------------Husband of Ann
ROY----Crops Administrator for Rendon Township, and operator of the Rendon Still
DARYL--Rendon Township Lay-about and Ne'er do well-------Husband of Sheridan
BOB C--Livestock Administrator for Rendon Township-------Husband of Ruth
CHARLIE B--Education Administrator for Rendon Township,
RAYMOND--High Sheriff of Rendon Township---------Husband of Toby
HENRY R---Rendon Township Militia Administrator and Trainer------------Husband of Martha
JOSE-----Rendon Township Immigration Administrator, and keeper of the Township's papers
HARRY--Rendon Township Administrator of the Punishment Stocks
TOM-----Rendon Township Woodchopper
FRANK--Rendon Township Man for Hire
BURT----Rendon Township Lay-about, Ne'er do well, and Witch Hunter------Husband of Linda
LADIES OF RENDON TOWNSHIP
Carol---Wife of James
Linda----Wife of Burt
Sheridan---Wife of Daryl, Blender of Spirits, brewer of beverages, operator of several floating games of chance, and a suspected Witch
Pat-------Member of the Wild Bunch and server at the Township Inn
Michelle---Barmaid and server at the Public House, barmaid at The Tavern on The Square
Sharon E----Wife of Jim E and maker and distributor of crafts
Sharon V---Barmaid at The Tavern on The Square.
Darlene---Wife of Jim H, and owner of The Tavern on The Square
???????? Bargirl and soiled dove at the Long Branch Saloon
???????? Bargirl and soiled dove at the Long Branch Saloon
???????? Bargirl and soiled dove at the Long Branch Saloon, and the Township Banker
Kristin (with a K and two i's), recently turned 21, and is the new owner of the Long Branch Saloon.(it is 1510, but it is only 300 years or so away from being Texas, after all.)
Ann------Wife of Jay, server in the Rendon Public House
Rene---Bartender at the Long Branch Saloon
Toby----Wife of Raymond
Sally---Wife of Chester and town cryer
Martha---Wife of Henry and Acting Magistrate for Rendon Township
Donde---Proprietress of the Rendon Public House.
Georgia---
Nellie---Wife of Pat J
Gerry---
Robin R---
Judy---Wife of Frank
Traci (with an i) Rendon Township gunsmith
POPULATION OF RETTA CITY=37
MALES—14 FEMALES---23
MALE NAMES=HERKIMER 1 through 14 FEMALE NAMES=HANNAH 1 through 23
DEAR READERS:
We are going to take a short trip back in time. I say short because 500 years is not really all that long. For this reason, you, the reader, must suspend your accustomed reliance on being able to believe at least some of what is written in TRUE????. Bear in mind that I am NOT saying that NOTHING in this story is true, but if you are looking for historical facts you just might be reading the wrong story. This is the story of the crew and passengers of the Galaxia, a ship that sailed with the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, but being made up of a crew and passengers much more daring than Columbuses' bunch. They sailed down the coast of what is now the USA, around what is now Florida, into what is now the Gulf Of Mexico, and made landing at what is now Galveston Texas. From there this intrepid bunch trekked on foot inland to an ideal place for a township, and named it Rendon Township, based on rending their group away from the bunch that just had to be on the East coast, and rending the land itself away from the native peoples who were there at the time. We will now move ahead a few years to 1510, January, and colder than a well diggers a?? in Montana.
Dawn was breaking as Harry opened up the stocks and let Jerry out. It was Wednesday, and Jerry had been incarcerated since Monday evening. He had served one day and two nights in the stocks for a relatively minor offense. He had jokingly told Charlie that he believed the stocks were an antiquated punishment and were on the way out. Unfortunately, he had been overheard by Robin, and she relayed the statement to Chester, who wanted badly to introduce Jerry to the ducking stool. Fortunately, Martha had decided that the ducking stool was too harsh for just making a misstatement, but since Jerry had unwisely said that he could do a day and two nights on his head in the stocks, Martha ordered him placed in the stocks with his ankles buckled in, and his head down. He was a bit lightheaded when released, and fell down a few times on his way to the Public House for an ale pick-me-up. Folks who had not seen him in the stocks naturally presumed he was drunk, as he sometimes was.
Herkimer 9,3, and 11, along with Hannah 5 and 21, had trekked over from Retta City to see Raymond in his capacity as High Sheriff, to make a charge of Witchery against Sheridan, of Rendon. The basis for this charge, as it had been the last 71 times, was that Sheridan made a potent mixture of herbs and vegetables that, thus far could only be eaten by Burt, a known witch hunter and ne'er do well. Other people in Rendon Township and Retta City had tried to eat this mixture, resulting in a burned mouth and tongue for all but Burt. A few people, mostly from Retta City, had rumored it around that Burt could be a male witch, or worse yet, a Warlock. Nothing had ever come of these rumors, and no charges had ever been filed. Alas, the same could not be said of some of the Rendon ladies, Sheridan in particular. She had been spied upon so many times as she stirred her cauldron of bubbling red mixture that she had been forced to prevail upon Frank to build an enclosure for her 3 cauldrons so she could have some privacy whilst brewing her various mixtures, which were, co-incidentally, all red. The differences, according to Sheridan and Sharon E who had many times observed the brewing of the mixtures, was in the heat produced in ones mouth. Sheridan and Sharon E had been trying to come up with a word they could use to gain exclusive rights to the mixing of ingredients which resulted in the fiery red mixture. Some of the plants incorporated into the cauldron were not themselves red, but always resulted in a red mixture. Curtis, on more than one occasion, had given Sheridan plants that grew wild in his yard. At one point Curtis had cut some of the pods open and pulled out the seeds to plant, and it resulted in burned hands and fingers for Curtis, who since that time handled these pods only with wooden utensils, as he had used up all the udder balm available to soothe his hands. A lot of the Township people had eaten of the mixtures that were not hot, and Sheridan and Sharon could see an opportunity to sell some of the stuff. It was only the hot one that some believed was the devils own instrument
Retta City was populated with the dregs of society that had been driven out of Plymouth, and had taken Native American canoes (without permission, I might add) and followed the coastline South until they came upon the scuttled remains of the Galaxia. They went inland following what trail there was of the soon to be Rendoners. Their ilk were turned away from Rendon Township with a display of force, led in part by Carol, wife of James, who drove them with force Southward. After a few miles, the Rendoners left off, and the misfits started Retta City on the spot. Most were each others relatives, most were dumber than a rock, and all were bone lazy. The Retta City town saying was: "We were just born tired, and never have got over it" They were, however, scared to death of witches and witchcraft.
Martha set January 11,1510, as the hearing for Sheridan to ascertain if she would be tried for Witchcraft. The Rendoners, sometimes calling themselves Texerlyones, had made some friends amongst the Comanche, and they were always invited to Township gatherings. They spoke no English, and the townies spoke no Comanche, but it was the gathering that interested the Comanche. While no one knew it but the Indians, the Comanche were taking notes about what happened at these gatherings, how many white-eyes were present, and how much and what kind of armament they carried. The townies were blissfully ignorant of the intentions of the Comanche.
The hearing was taking place in The Longbranch Saloon, which was the largest building in the township. Sally's voice thundered through the building as she cried for quiet. The witness against Sheridan was brought forth and commanded to speak loudly and true, lest she (the witness) be not heard and taken out to the lashing post. Hannah 5 spoke out against Sheridan. She spoke that a week ago she witnessed Sheridan bewitching a goat named Samantha, and that the goat then disappeared and had not been seen since. Martha called for rebuttal, and Curtis stepped forth and stated that the goat Samantha had run behind one of the townships' outhouses and stepped right into one of Curtis' bear traps, and he was forced to kill Samantha and begin eating her that very day, lest the meat spoil. Further rebuttal brought Carol forth, stating that Curtis had left half a goat in her care to feed the needy, which she had done and the goat was now naught but a few bones, and a few bones had been given to Burt's dogs. The hearing had lasted but nine minutes when Martha declared that there was not reason enough to hold Sheridan for witchery. That brought a hue and cry from the Retturds, saying that Rendoners were afraid of Witches is why they wouldn't try one. Georgia, Gerry, and Robin jumped up as one, as as one voice spake these words: "We are not afraid of Witches, cause we don't believe in Witches."
Curtis was engaged in a project to see how much he could shorten the legs on two chairs in the Rendon Inn by shuffling them back and forth between tables. Someone had suggested that he might get Sheridan to shorten the legs using witchcraft, as Curtis had no saw. Curtis did believe in Witchcraft, as he had seen it used back in his misspent youth, and while he did not believe that Sheridan was herself a Witch, he still did not breakfast at her table at the Inn.
In two days time, another Retturd, Hannah 23, came forth to bring a new charge against Sheridan. Carol strapped on a brace of pistols and sallied forth to run this lying Retturd out of town or put an end to her life. Pat and Sharon V caught up with Carol and were beginning to calm her down when Darlene came on the scene and began agitating by saying she thought Carol was right, and that lying Retturd should be shot and then hung with a new rope. A crowd had begun to gather in front of The Tavern on the Square, and it was about evenly matched: half for forgiving, the other half for tar and feathers, hanging, stoning, and various other means of dealing with someone running off at the mouth. Michelle came out of the tavern and got her two cents worth in, and she was for letting the miscreant get back to Retta City in one piece and in reasonably good health. Calmer heads prevailed ( if not common sense) when Raymond threatened everyone with a night in the stocks if they didn't break it up and go home. Daryl pointed out that the township stocks could only house one person at a time, but the crowd did disperse.
Hannah 23 had the bit in her teeth though, and was not to be dissuaded. She charged that she, personally, had witnessed Sheridan, covered in the red salsa, chanting to Beelzebub, entreating him to make this batch of salsa just perfect. Martha was forced into another hearing to listen to the charge of Witchcraft against Sheridan. Martha instructed Raymond, in his official capacity as High Sheriff, to go forth into the countryside and all who were not townies were to be brought into Rendon Township in case it became necessary to scratch up enough people for a jury.
Several people in Rendon Township possessed communicators and they began notifying everyone they could think of about a possible Witch trial. (It would be a number of years before someone discovered you could talk through a wire, but since WE can't get by without a phone, why should they have to, so they had wireless already.) Witch trials were as popular here as they were on the East Coast, but the rails only went as far West as the Big Muddy River, so it wasn't likely that any Yankees would be attending a trial, if there indeed was a trial. Martha would appoint Jim H, Rex, and Pat J as Advocates for Sheridan, if it came to it. Linda would function as the court reporter if it came to trial. Traci, Judy, Nellie, and Donde were assigned to keep tight rein on Carol to make sure she did not carry her pistols into the courtroom, as some were afraid she might lose her temper.
Martha was forced to convene a trial when Hannah 17 and a soiled dove from the Long Branch both claimed to have seen Sheridan throwing dice to determine whether to add chips to the salsa.
Trial was set for January 31. The jury was to be comprised of Ann, Rene, Toby, Frank, Tom, Jose, Henry R, Bob C, Roy, Jay, Larry, and Robert. Jim E was to prosecute, and James would keep order and serve as bailiff. Curtis and Burt went afield to bring in enough game to feed everyone while the trial was underway.
Court convened at the pond where the ducking stool would separate the liars from the Rendoners. Sheridan was to be the first on the ducking stool, but as she was a member of The Wild Bunch, she knew how to manipulate the stool. The sheep bladder attached to the stool which floats to the surface to mark the stool's location, has a small garden hose attached to it, unknown to most. By taking the hose into one's mouth, a person can breathe quite well while under water. One only needs remember to breathe through one's mouth. Twenty beats of the drum without the duckee struggling to get loose, means the duckee told the truth to the question asked of him/her before he/she was ducked under. A struggling to get loose, or of course expiring before being brought up means the person surely lied. The townsmen, with long poles, acted as beaters and soon had enough ice broken off the pond to allow entrance of the ducking stool. Sheridan was asked if she was in league with the Devil, replied negatively, and was duly ducked under the water. At the twentieth beat on the drum, Sheridan was brought to the surface, smiling and waving to the crowd.
Hannah 17 was the placed into the stool and asked if she really saw Sheridan practicing Witchcraft. She replied in the affirmative with a loud hell yes. She was then ducked under water, and Chester began the drum beat and count. Chester can be distracted sometimes, and this was one of those times, when Kristin (with a K and an i)began to sashay toward the water bucket to get a drink. She was about half way there when Chester lost count somewhere around 11, picked up the count about 8, lost count again at about 16 when Kristin (with a K and an i) started back from the bucket, then picked up the count again at about 12. At 20, when Hannah 17 was raised out of the water, she was laughing out loud and giving the finger to the assembled township folk.
This had never happened before.(Not Chesters distraction,) but having both duckees emerge having told the truth. Martha ordered Raymond to closely inspect the ducking stool, then she said recess until everybody got to The Longbranch to convene court. Taking advantage of recess, Burt and Curtis went hunting again, hoping to get a hippopotamus for Carol to cook up. Martha ordered all the Retturds to accompany Michelle to the Tavern on the Square, The Wild Bunch to go into the Longbranch, and everybody else in town to follow Carol to the Township Inn.
With the township folk thusly divided, Martha began her questioning. It took but a few moments to ascertain that a former server at the Rendon Township Inn had let slip to someone outside the Wild Bunch that there was a hose attached to the stool that one could breath through. Hannah 17 possessed that knowledge when she was submerged. The Wild Bunch were all in agreement that the ducking stool verdict should be set aside, as it was blatantly unfair of a Retturd to use that knowledge, and further that since Sheridan was widely known, her veracity was not in question, and Hannah 17 should be made to prove she was not lying by facing Carol in a duel. The town would be fair, as it was known that practically no Retturds had access to a firearm. Henry R had a brace of dueling pistols, seldom used, which the township would let Hannah use one of, her choice. Carol would use her own 9mm. Jim E was of the opinion that would just delay things too long, and Rendon should just tell the jurors that they, one and all, were long time friends of Sheridan, and should just say not guilty. That seemed eminently just, and The Wild Bunch vote for that was unanimous.
The trial was now underway. Hannah 23 restated that she had seen Sheridan communicating with the devil. Hannah 17 restated that she saw Sheridan throwing dice, which was Satan's game. Sheridan rebutted by saying that she was in fact, asking God's blessing for her salsa, so that it could be enjoyed by all, not just Burt. She further stated that she had fried some corn meal and cut it into cubes to dip in her salsa, and was simply spreading the cubes out to dry. The court was recessed for the jury to deliberate and return with a not guilty verdict.
Curtis and Burt had not located a hippopotamus, but were able to bring in three large grasshoppers, which was enough for a town bar-b-cue. Curtis had shot two of the hoppers with his .32 caliber muzzleloader, while Burt shot the other one with a .458 Winchester Magnum. The jury brought in a not guilty verdict, and as Burt was congratulating Sheridan, Curtis began to wonder how they managed to get those grasshoppers, in the dead of winter, and couldn't help but wonder if Sheridan had somehow made those hoppers come out at this time of year. NAH!!
Gemini Man
Copyright 2011
