TRUE????TOO # 8

11-23-13

TRUE ???? TOO      # 8

By now, you , the five readers of TRUE AND TRUE TOO, have learned how to read this missive, and passed on to the woefully ignorant all that is needed to actually understand what TRUE, and this one, TRUE TOO , both with the required question marks, are all about. Some folks NEVER catch on, but we must sadly, leave them behind. They CAN catch up, if they have the desire and some free time The title of this one is: FREE TIME, and of course has absolutely nothing to do with reading or understanding this document. There is a cast of thousands, but unfortunately, space is limited. If you are mentioned by name in this story, it is purely accidental, as we NEVER tell anyone's true name, so if your true name is in here, it is "made-up", and I accept NO responsibilty for how the name is used. Or misused as the case may be.

It is widely known that Gemini Man is a lay-about,ne'er do well wastrel, but it was not known until recently that some of the Bella Vita ladies are cut from the same cloth. We will call them stand-about ne'er do well wastrels so as not to have some out there think the term "Lay-about" means something entirely different. We would never cast aspersions on a ladies character. Glances perhaps, but not aspersions. Four of these ladies have indicated they would back a "topless" day, and I for one could get behind that idea, and indicated as much. Unfortunately they had in mind some skid row bums that could be "hired" for about 4 bits a day to appear shirtless. That's just lacking something. I casually mentioned that one of the bar-b-que places downtown in Ft, Worth had a "bikini" day, and one day a week you could hardly get in the place to sit down. Our ladies said they would "think that one over", which of course means the waitresses would be wearing overcoats, as it would take place on the day Hell froze over.

I'm quite sure that some of you are asking yourselves where in the world did Gemini Man come up with the title for this "story"?

As it turns out, I decided on the spur of the moment to write this. Part way through, I realized I was not going to have enough free time to write what I intended, so this is condensed. VERY condensed.

    

Read this paper online at the address below.

Gemini Man

COPYRIGHT 2013

geminiauthor.blogspot.com

  

TRUE # 7

11-2-13

TRUE ???? TOO   # 7

Having just survived another HALLOWEEN, without incident, there are a few things I should relate to you, the faithful readers of  TRUE ???? and TRUE????TOO, to keep you up to date on what's going on at Bella Vita on the days you may not actually be at Bella Vita, having  prior engagements at: the deer lease (perfectly acceptable), car show (also acceptable), fishing trip (likewise acceptable) House full of guests (acceptable if you cannot bring them with you, or sneak out without them), gambling trip (acceptable if you allot a portion of your winnings to Bella Vita waitresses as TIPS). I did take a couple of photos of the Bella Vita Resident Witches. Missing among them was Sherrydan,(not her REAL name, of course) who is notable for having survived several Witch trials, having been acquitted, of course, in every case. In the photos, you will see Victrola (not her REAL name, of course) as well as Katchina,(also not her REAL name), and who was taking this Halloween off, and therefore incognito and not properly attired. The man in Black, Gemini Man, (not his REAL name, of course, though some refer to him as Warlock), passed the camera to someone else for the pix. This group would not share details of what was in the cauldron in the kitchen, bubbling away.

JE and SE finally got their new house, and despite a few glitches along the way, are now moved in, barring any spells cast their way. (JE and SE are not their REAL names, of course.)  Readers of this missive are well aware that TRUE???? and/or TRUE???? TOO, NEVER give out anyones REAL name. A fifth of OLD OVERHOLT  might  possibly shake out a REAL name but that is not a certainty.

Salty almost had to be physically restrained from climbing over the back of the booth she and Chestwick share. REAL names?  NAH! Chestwick is trying to find someone who will install a 250cc Kawasaki engine on a wheelchair. A nerf (anti wheelie) bar on the chair is a MUST. Chestwick offered to tow SE in her chair to Bella Vita for breakfast, and though JE was cheering her on, she politely declined, then went straight to confession.

Read these online at  the address below.

GEMINI MAN
geminiauthor.blogspot.com
Copyright Jan. 2013 11-2-13

TRUE TOO # 6

5-3-13


TRUE ????TOO                       #  6

SALLY'S  BOOBS

Lest you think this paper is declining into the world of porn, let me assuage your fears by assuring you, one and all, that I have no idea how to do porn without pictures. If someone under 10 years of age reads  something here that he/she has never seen before, he/she has no idea what it means anyway, and this paper is strictly G rated. As with the truth, I leave it up to you, the reader. to decide what "G rated" means.

As we, the Wild Bunch, were having breakfast one morning, I was sitting in my usual place, and Chester was in his usual place, so try to get a mental picture of the table. I was looking toward Chester, who was in his booth and against the wall, while everyone to Chesters left was strung out down the tables that Luma and Tammyammyammy thoughtfully place end to end for our convenience in eating and talking. All those people were on my right, and as I looked toward Chester, I was looking past 5 or 6 people, but I can only remember who 2 of them were. I could see Chester clearly, and I could see Ray clearly. Between Ray, who was blocking nearly all of one individual, and Chester, there was clearly visible, (although completely covered), what I remember to be boobs. Since the boobs were next to Chester, I logically assumed they must belong to Sally, although everything but the boobs was completely obscured by Ray and the boobs were completely obscured by clothing. I know you are thinking "But Sally is a tiny woman", but from my viewpoint at the time, ALL of Sally ain't all that small. "They" definitely get into a room before she does.




GEMINI MAN
GeminiAuthor.blogspot.com
Copyright 2013

4-15 -13

TRUE ???? TOO      # 5

NOT OZ, BUT CLOSE BY

Long ago, but not too far away, there was a restaurant called the Bella Vita, which loosely (very loosely) translated from Italian to American English means Good Life. For those of you who speak the King's English, as opposed to American English, just bear with me, cause the owner of Bella Vita, Luma Nescence, (which is NOT her real name, as I have to be paid to reveal real names)speaks fluent Albanian with a trace of New Jersey accent, but is coming right along on that Texas accent. I threatened to write a Texas/Albanian dictionary of all the dirty words in the world and publish it in TRUE ???? TOO, but Luma reminded me that Bella Vita is, after all, a family restaurant. I countered with " if they ain't heard it before, they don't know what it means anyway", and she responded with a string of Albanian words that I'm pretty sure meant "yeah, but you're trying to tell them what it means".Luma does not know that I have an inside source (named Knee ah) which is not her real name either, who supplies me with Albanian to Texas English translations. Using my fantastic memory I was able to relate to Knee ah, word for word what Luma had said to me. Knee ah said that that language was Greek to her, and unfortunately Greek is one of the few languages I do NOT speak, but the Quest for truth will continue.

There were about thirty of us sitting in one booth the other day, when Tammyammyammy (which is Not her real name either) said she would set up our usual table if someone would tell her where she put the three coffee pots, so she could make some more coffee before my cup ran out. Jim E (again not his real name) and I, being confirmed coffee drinkers, had used Crayolas to disguise two of the pots to look like cups, and were drinking from them while the remaining pot was stashed in the back by disguising it as a witches cauldron by Glenda, a good witch, and I promise again for the LAST time, the name disclaimer will NOT be used again.

The Wild Bunch is a "gang-lite" bunch of misfits and ne'er do wells who breakfast at Bella Vita every Tuesday morning to give a hard time to Luma (who was a passably good cook when she started cooking back in Albania for the family and hired hands who discovered how to grow pasta. I know that it is widely believed that either the Italians or the Chinese invented pasta, but the fact ???? is that pasta was discovered growing wild in an Albanian grape field. Two of the Nescents hired hands had been pulling up pasta for a couple of years to keep it from choking out the grape vines, and one blistering hot day they threw some of the pulled up pasta at a large vat that was full of rain water sitting in the hot sun all day. It changed almost immediately and got soft. One of the hands stuck a now-soft stick of it in his mouth and discovered it was quite tasty.  The other tried a taste, and said "needs salt". After some experimenting, they cut the Nescents in on their discovery, who immediately sent their daughter, Luma , to a culinary school in Paris. She soon surpassed the Chefs who ran the place, and decided she could do better. She took a train to New York, (which is VERY hard to do from Albania) She opened up an Italian restaurant in New York, but soon hungered for the West, and took a train to Texas from New York, which was much easier to do. Bella Vita 2 was the result of that trip. Now located in the bustling metropolis of Rendon City, which is located between Retta City and Everman. All of you who have read THE TRIAL-TRUE???? # 27. will know all about Retta City, but possibly be ignorant of Everman, which was shortened from "Ever man for himself" during the Native American uprising.(I promise, that will be the LAST politically correct statement you will ever read in this paper.)

One evening while Linda and I were having dinner, Triple T. (T.Tiny Tina) and I engaged in a conversation about the death penalty, which I support and T is against. When I asked her how she could think a miscreant should be allowed to live, she reminded me that she had not said that. She merely said she was against violence, but not necessarily against the threat of violence. When I asked to what ends, she said a miscreant should be forced, against his will and at gunpoint if necessary, to drink or eat poison. As long as THEY drank or ate it, it would not be violent, and a perfectly acceptable way for society to terminate their violent behavior.

Glinda is the good witch that hangs out with Hill and Russ in the back room, and as soon as I can figure how to put cameras in there, you will hear more about them, as you KNOW I wouldn't just make something up. One of those two of her cohorts was seen this morning taking something from a car that wasn't his, and putting it into a car that WAS his. Glinda was at the front window catching every move on a TV camera, so we may get to see him on the news, though I have absolutely no facts to anything.

I'm not sure if everyone knows about Goldilocks being a regular at Bella Vita, or even if they knew that she adopted an infant bear. Seems this family of bears were falling on hard times, and were about to fall into a life of crime stealing porridge, when they encountered Goldilocks and her husband, Lion Man. They proceeded to find jobs for the Papa bear and the Mama bear at a local Sam's Club. Unfortunately the pay is minimum, and barely covers rent, so the papa and mama bear were considering the Forest Park Zoo for the baby bear, but Goldi and Lion offered their home as a home for the three bears, as they had a bed that was big enough for all three of them. They were invited to stay until they could find better jobs, and meanwhile Lion and Goldi would be "Godparents" to the little one, and act as "surrogate" mother and father, as well as full time sitters. Goldi brings the little one to Bella Vita every time they come in for breakfast. I cannot relate to you the name of the little one, as I have not heard it, but we all know, I couldn't tell you what it's REAL name is anyway.

I was ratchet' jawin' the other morning and had no idea that Hottie Carol, from the Rendon Cafe, had come by, until Chester or somebody told me she had walked past me as she was leaving. If she had passed in front of me, I would have said "Hi, Hottie Carol", but as she was behind me I did not see her or even know she was there until somebody told me later. So, belated, "HI HOTTIE CAROL". If you come by Bella Vita again, stop by and I'll buy your coffee.

I guess the Gremlins are at it again. At breakfast the other day, there was a flash, and then I found out a little while later that a bulb had gone out in the kitchen. It was one of those 2 foot diameter jobbies that takes two men and a ladder to change, so Luma was busy making omelets and pancakes with Tammyammyammy holding up a Coleman lantern.

W W of the W writes notes to augment my fantastic memory in writing this paper. I fact, were it not for those notes, you would never hear of any happenings that happened BEFORE the day I sit down to write this. She handed me 4 pages of notes 3 or 4 days ago, so I'm pretty sure she expects this letter to be longer than usual, which it certainly will be. She wasn't there this morning, so she didn't see or hear this next, which means I MUST write it down NOW, or I might not remember it to relate it to her when she gets home from work this afternoon. My apologies if this seems somehow out of order, but I just promise TRUTH????, not continuity.

 This morning (Thu-4-18-13), Tammyammyammy ran out of the Kitchen screaming she was going to shoot something/someone in the hole if she could find a shotgun. I asked her what the problem was, and she said there was a bird in the ceiling whose noise was driving her crazy. As that could be a very short trip, I offered advice if nothing else. The offending bird was in the ceiling in the back, next to the kitchen. I told her to just take a broomstick and bump the ceiling below the bird. She did, and came running/screaming back into the dining room, closing the door behind her. She said the bird attacked her and she had to run for her life. I struggled out of my chair and peeked into the back room. Expecting a sparrow or some such, I was just a tiny bit surprised to see a 2 foot tall Falcon, about 3 feet of wing span. I decided that rather than deal with it my self, I would teach Tammyammyammy how to take care of this herself, in case it might happen again in the future. I just told Tammyammyammy to go back into the room, closing the door behind her, and open the outside door. She said she had opened the door a little bit already, so I told her to open it all the way. On her way to the back room, I heard another customer tell her to turn off all the lights when she opened the door. After being gone a few minutes, she returned breathless and scared witless. She said she didn't know if the bird got out, but she could still hear something moving in the room, so I went to check, which I did. When I returned, I asked her if the outside door could be closed from the outside, and she replied yes.

I then offered what I consider to be a perfectly logical solution. Close the back door from outside. Texas is a HUNTING state, whose hunters are accustomed to paying a fee to the landowner, or the lease holder. While outside, I discovered the door I had told her to open wide was a door that could admit a 2 ton truck. While outside, I could not ascertain whether the Falcon had escaped, but since the light had been turned off, the room was most certainly full of bats. FEE STRUCTURE: LIVE CAPTURE=$10.00 per bat---HUNTING=$5.00 per bat—tennis rackets ONLY (Not responsible for visits from PETA) FLASHLIGHTS and any other light device STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. Hunts could be advertised as Dangerous Game, since there is a slight chance of a bite from a RABID bat. This is TECHNICALLY correct, but also absolutely unethical, so I would advise against it   TAMMYAMMYAMMY's OPTIONS, NEEDING: House-Car-Boobjob..  COULD GET ---  TENT---BICYCLE---Forget boob job, get a bigger tent.

GEMINI MAN

Geminiauthor.blogspot.com

Copyright April 18--2013

TRUE ???? TOO # 5

4-15 -13

TRUE ???? TOO      # 5

NOT OZ, BUT CLOSE BY

Long ago, but not too far away, there was a restaurant called the Bella Vita, which loosely (very loosely) translated from Italian to American English means Good Life. For those of you who speak the King's English, as opposed to American English, just bear with me, cause the owner of Bella Vita, Luma Nescence, (which is NOT her real name, as I have to be paid to reveal real names)speaks fluent Albanian with a trace of New Jersey accent, but is coming right along on that Texas accent. I threatened to write a Texas/Albanian dictionary of all the dirty words in the world and publish it in TRUE ???? TOO, but Luma reminded me that Bella Vita is, after all, a family restaurant. I countered with " if they ain't heard it before, they don't know what it means anyway", and she responded with a string of Albanian words that I'm pretty sure meant "yeah, but you're trying to tell them what it means".Luma does not know that I have an inside source (named Knee ah) which is not her real name either, who supplies me with Albanian to Texas English translations. Using my fantastic memory I was able to relate to Knee ah, word for word what Luma had said to me. Knee ah said that that language was Greek to her, and unfortunately Greek is one of the few languages I do NOT speak, but the Quest for truth will continue.

There were about thirty of us sitting in one booth the other day, when Tammyammyammy (which is Not her real name either) said she would set up our usual table if someone would tell her where she put the three coffee pots, so she could make some more coffee before my cup ran out. Jim E (again not his real name) and I, being confirmed coffee drinkers, had used Crayolas to disguise two of the pots to look like cups, and were drinking from them while the remaining pot was stashed in the back by disguising it as a witches cauldron by Glenda, a good witch, and I promise again for the LAST time, the name disclaimer will NOT be used again.

The Wild Bunch is a "gang-lite" bunch of misfits and ne'er do wells who breakfast at Bella Vita every Tuesday morning to give a hard time to Luma (who was a passably good cook when she started cooking back in Albania for the family and hired hands who discovered how to grow pasta. I know that it is widely believed that either the Italians or the Chinese invented pasta, but the fact ???? is that pasta was discovered growing wild in an Albanian grape field. Two of the Nescents hired hands had been pulling up pasta for a couple of years to keep it from choking out the grape vines, and one blistering hot day they threw some of the pulled up pasta at a large vat that was full of rain water sitting in the hot sun all day. It changed almost immediately and got soft. One of the hands stuck a now-soft stick of it in his mouth and discovered it was quite tasty.  The other tried a taste, and said "needs salt". After some experimenting, they cut the Nescents in on their discovery, who immediately sent their daughter, Luma , to a culinary school in Paris. She soon surpassed the Chefs who ran the place, and decided she could do better. She took a train to New York, (which is VERY hard to do from Albania) She opened up an Italian restaurant in New York, but soon hungered for the West, and took a train to Texas from New York, which was much easier to do. Bella Vita 2 was the result of that trip. Now located in the bustling metropolis of Rendon City, which is located between Retta City and Everman. All of you who have read THE TRIAL-TRUE???? # 27. will know all about Retta City, but possibly be ignorant of Everman, which was shortened from "Ever man for himself" during the Native American uprising.(I promise, that will be the LAST politically correct statement you will ever read in this paper.)

One evening while Linda and I were having dinner, Triple T. (T.Tiny Tina) and I engaged in a conversation about the death penalty, which I support and T is against. When I asked her how she could think a miscreant should be allowed to live, she reminded me that she had not said that. She merely said she was against violence, but not necessarily against the threat of violence. When I asked to what ends, she said a miscreant should be forced, against his will and at gunpoint if necessary, to drink or eat poison. As long as THEY drank or ate it, it would not be violent, and a perfectly acceptable way for society to terminate their violent behavior.

Glinda is the good witch that hangs out with Hill and Russ in the back room, and as soon as I can figure how to put cameras in there, you will hear more about them, as you KNOW I wouldn't just make something up. One of those two of her cohorts was seen this morning taking something from a car that wasn't his, and putting it into a car that WAS his. Glinda was at the front window catching every move on a TV camera, so we may get to see him on the news, though I have absolutely no facts to anything.

I'm not sure if everyone knows about Goldilocks being a regular at Bella Vita, or even if they knew that she adopted an infant bear. Seems this family of bears were falling on hard times, and were about to fall into a life of crime stealing porridge, when they encountered Goldilocks and her husband, Lion Man. They proceeded to find jobs for the Papa bear and the Mama bear at a local Sam's Club. Unfortunately the pay is minimum, and barely covers rent, so the papa and mama bear were considering the Forest Park Zoo for the baby bear, but Goldi and Lion offered their home as a home for the three bears, as they had a bed that was big enough for all three of them. They were invited to stay until they could find better jobs, and meanwhile Lion and Goldi would be "Godparents" to the little one, and act as "surrogate" mother and father, as well as full time sitters. Goldi brings the little one to Bella Vita every time they come in for breakfast. I cannot relate to you the name of the little one, as I have not heard it, but we all know, I couldn't tell you what it's REAL name is anyway.

I was ratchet' jawin' the other morning and had no idea that Hottie Carol, from the Rendon Cafe, had come by, until Chester or somebody told me she had walked past me as she was leaving. If she had passed in front of me, I would have said "Hi, Hottie Carol", but as she was behind me I did not see her or even know she was there until somebody told me later. So, belated, "HI HOTTIE CAROL". If you come by Bella Vita again, stop by and I'll buy your coffee.

I guess the Gremlins are at it again. At breakfast the other day, there was a flash, and then I found out a little while later that a bulb had gone out in the kitchen. It was one of those 2 foot diameter jobbies that takes two men and a ladder to change, so Luma was busy making omelets and pancakes with Tammyammyammy holding up a Coleman lantern.

W W of the W writes notes to augment my fantastic memory in writing this paper. I fact, were it not for those notes, you would never hear of any happenings that happened BEFORE the day I sit down to write this. She handed me 4 pages of notes 3 or 4 days ago, so I'm pretty sure she expects this letter to be longer than usual, which it certainly will be. She wasn't there this morning, so she didn't see or hear this next, which means I MUST write it down NOW, or I might not remember it to relate it to her when she gets home from work this afternoon. My apologies if this seems somehow out of order, but I just promise TRUTH????, not continuity.

 This morning (Thu-4-18-13), Tammyammyammy ran out of the Kitchen screaming she was going to shoot something/someone in the hole if she could find a shotgun. I asked her what the problem was, and she said there was a bird in the ceiling whose noise was driving her crazy. As that could be a very short trip, I offered advice if nothing else. The offending bird was in the ceiling in the back, next to the kitchen. I told her to just take a broomstick and bump the ceiling below the bird. She did, and came running/screaming back into the dining room, closing the door behind her. She said the bird attacked her and she had to run for her life. I struggled out of my chair and peeked into the back room. Expecting a sparrow or some such, I was just a tiny bit surprised to see a 2 foot tall Falcon, about 3 feet of wing span. I decided that rather than deal with it my self, I would teach Tammyammyammy how to take care of this herself, in case it might happen again in the future. I just told Tammyammyammy to go back into the room, closing the door behind her, and open the outside door. She said she had opened the door a little bit already, so I told her to open it all the way. On her way to the back room, I heard another customer tell her to turn off all the lights when she opened the door. After being gone a few minutes, she returned breathless and scared witless. She said she didn't know if the bird got out, but she could still hear something moving in the room, so I went to check, which I did. When I returned, I asked her if the outside door could be closed from the outside, and she replied yes.

I then offered what I consider to be a perfectly logical solution. Close the back door from outside. Texas is a HUNTING state, whose hunters are accustomed to paying a fee to the landowner, or the lease holder. While outside, I discovered the door I had told her to open wide was a door that could admit a 2 ton truck. While outside, I could not ascertain whether the Falcon had escaped, but since the light had been turned off, the room was most certainly full of bats. FEE STRUCTURE: LIVE CAPTURE=$10.00 per bat---HUNTING=$5.00 per bat—tennis rackets ONLY (Not responsible for visits from PETA) FLASHLIGHTS and any other light device STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. Hunts could be advertised as Dangerous Game, since there is a slight chance of a bite from a RABID bat. This is TECHNICALLY correct, but also absolutely unethical, so I would advise against it   TAMMYAMMYAMMY's OPTIONS, NEEDING: House-Car-Boobjob..  COULD GET ---  TENT---BICYCLE---Forget boob job, get a bigger tent.