TRUE ???? TOO

2-9-13

TRUE ????  TOO                                                            # 3


Curtis was recently waylaid by a roving band of ticket scalpers. When he tried to explain to them that the Super Bowl had already been played and he did not need tickets, they duct taped him to the back door of his van and removed his beard with a hoe ( e on the end and in bad need of sharpening). Not content with that, they de-haired his arms with a cigarette lighter and with shouts of "Damn hippie", made the rest of his head look like the "post Delilah" Samson. Some 0 grit sandpaper glued to a pencil took care of the nose and ear hair. When I asked him if all I had heard was True, his one word reply was "YEP."

Chester put pix of Darlene's party at Bella Vita on facebook, and a friend of Kathy's took her to task for not inviting her/him to the party. Kathy didn't even know there was a party, since her and the "nearly wild bunch"stay holed up in the back being quiet as church mice. I must be more diligent in making sure that everyone gets the word on everything that is happening or should happen at Bella Vita. We (the wild bunch) are teaching Luma some of the differences in what we say in "Americanized" english versus how she might say it in Albanianized Albanian. There are some hilarious differences. I could relate more of what we say, including Luma, by utilizing the time-honored @%#$*&% keys on the keyboard as has been done in America since about 1492. (Yes, they had keyboards then, they just looked different and were called something else) I could also  use redaction, which I have done in the past, but most of the conversation we have would have to be redacted so heavily it would be very difficult to read, so I'm just going to get Luma to tell me how to say, and spell, every dirty word that exists in the world today, and put a Lexicon in this paper. Of course I will only be relating Albanian to American English(which in itself is a lot different from English English) to keep confusion to a minimum.

When Linda and I got about halfway home from the cafe this past Friday, my eyes felt a little funny, so I asked her how they looked when we got home. She said a little bloodshot, so I laid down for a few minutes. Then they went to spinning like the rabbit in the old cartoons with pinwheel eyes. She called an ambulance which transported me to Harris Hospital. The eyes had already straightened up by that time, but they said a cat scan was in order, along with chest x-rays. Short version is: dehydration, possibly from too long a time span between cups of coffee. Damn waitress. Doc said the x-rays and cat scan looked o.k.. so tell Tammy more coffee, and as soon as I got a bagfull of liquid down with an I.V. I could go home. I asked if I could get the bag to go, and he said no. Same answer to punching a straw hole in the bag. Same answer to Linda squeezing the bag.But the bag finally got empty, and we left the hospital in time to go straight to Bella Vita for dinner. Linda had picked me up at the hopital in her car, so I didn't have my cane  but I leaned on her long enought to get seated.Spotting my hospital bracelets, Tina asked about them, so I asked her if I could borrow her switchblade to cut them off with. She said something about not having one, and Nea/Nia said I asked the wrong one for the switchblade, but hers was at home, so Tina brought scissors and cut them off. We had a good dinner, and when it came time to leave, not having my cane, I asked Tina if she could help me stand up. She said "Seriously?", and I said yeah, so she pried me out of the chair without having to lift me, stood there holding my hand until she was sure I was stable, then let me go. She asked Linda what should she have done if I started to fall, and Linda said "Just get out of the way".

GEMINI MAN
geminiauthor.blogspot.com
Copyright 20132-9-13

TRUE ????  TOO                                                            # 3


Curtis was recently waylaid by a roving band of ticket scalpers. When he tried to explain to them that the Super Bowl had already been played and he did not need tickets, they duct taped him to the back door of his van and removed his beard with a hoe ( e on the end and in bad need of sharpening). Not content with that, they de-haired his arms with a cigarette lighter and with shouts of "Damn hippie", made the rest of his head look like the "post Delilah" Samson. Some 0 grit sandpaper glued to a pencil took care of the nose and ear hair. When I asked him if all I had heard was True, his one word reply was "YEP."

Chester put pix of Darlene's party at Bella Vita on facebook, and a friend of Kathy's took her to task for not inviting her/him to the party. Kathy didn't even know there was a party, since her and the "nearly wild bunch"stay holed up in the back being quiet as church mice. I must be more diligent in making sure that everyone gets the word on everything that is happening or should happen at Bella Vita. We (the wild bunch) are teaching Luma some of the differences in what we say in "Americanized" english versus how she might say it in Albanianized Albanian. There are some hilarious differences. I could relate more of what we say, including Luma, by utilizing the time-honored @%#$*&% keys on the keyboard as has been done in America since about 1492. (Yes, they had keyboards then, they just looked different and were called something else) I could also  use redaction, which I have done in the past, but most of the conversation we have would have to be redacted so heavily it would be very difficult to read, so I'm just going to get Luma to tell me how to say, and spell, every dirty word that exists in the world today, and put a Lexicon in this paper. Of course I will only be relating Albanian to American English(which in itself is a lot different from English English) to keep confusion to a minimum.

When Linda and I got about halfway home from the cafe this past Friday, my eyes felt a little funny, so I asked her how they looked when we got home. She said a little bloodshot, so I laid down for a few minutes. Then they went to spinning like the rabbit in the old cartoons with pinwheel eyes. She called an ambulance which transported me to Harris Hospital. The eyes had already straightened up by that time, but they said a cat scan was in order, along with chest x-rays. Short version is: dehydration, possibly from too long a time span between cups of coffee. Damn waitress. Doc said the x-rays and cat scan looked o.k.. so tell Tammy more coffee, and as soon as I got a bagfull of liquid down with an I.V. I could go home. I asked if I could get the bag to go, and he said no. Same answer to punching a straw hole in the bag. Same answer to Linda squeezing the bag.But the bag finally got empty, and we left the hospital in time to go straight to Bella Vita for dinner. Linda had picked me up at the hopital in her car, so I didn't have my cane  but I leaned on her long enought to get seated.Spotting my hospital bracelets, Tina asked about them, so I asked her if I could borrow her switchblade to cut them off with. She said something about not having one, and Nea/Nia said I asked the wrong one for the switchblade, but hers was at home, so Tina brought scissors and cut them off. We had a good dinner, and when it came time to leave, not having my cane, I asked Tina if she could help me stand up. She said "Seriously?", and I said yeah, so she pried me out of the chair without having to lift me, stood there holding my hand until she was sure I was stable, then let me go. She asked Linda what should she have done if I started to fall, and Linda said "Just get out of the way".

GEMINI MAN
geminiauthor.blogspot.com
Copyright 20132-9-13

TRUE ????  TOO                                                            # 3


Curtis was recently waylaid by a roving band of ticket scalpers. When he tried to explain to them that the Super Bowl had already been played and he did not need tickets, they duct taped him to the back door of his van and removed his beard with a hoe ( e on the end and in bad need of sharpening). Not content with that, they de-haired his arms with a cigarette lighter and with shouts of "Damn hippie", made the rest of his head look like the "post Delilah" Samson. Some 0 grit sandpaper glued to a pencil took care of the nose and ear hair. When I asked him if all I had heard was True, his one word reply was "YEP."

Chester put pix of Darlene's party at Bella Vita on facebook, and a friend of Kathy's took her to task for not inviting her/him to the party. Kathy didn't even know there was a party, since her and the "nearly wild bunch"stay holed up in the back being quiet as church mice. I must be more diligent in making sure that everyone gets the word on everything that is happening or should happen at Bella Vita. We (the wild bunch) are teaching Luma some of the differences in what we say in "Americanized" english versus how she might say it in Albanianized Albanian. There are some hilarious differences. I could relate more of what we say, including Luma, by utilizing the time-honored @%#$*&% keys on the keyboard as has been done in America since about 1492. (Yes, they had keyboards then, they just looked different and were called something else) I could also  use redaction, which I have done in the past, but most of the conversation we have would have to be redacted so heavily it would be very difficult to read, so I'm just going to get Luma to tell me how to say, and spell, every dirty word that exists in the world today, and put a Lexicon in this paper. Of course I will only be relating Albanian to American English(which in itself is a lot different from English English) to keep confusion to a minimum.

When Linda and I got about halfway home from the cafe this past Friday, my eyes felt a little funny, so I asked her how they looked when we got home. She said a little bloodshot, so I laid down for a few minutes. Then they went to spinning like the rabbit in the old cartoons with pinwheel eyes. She called an ambulance which transported me to Harris Hospital. The eyes had already straightened up by that time, but they said a cat scan was in order, along with chest x-rays. Short version is: dehydration, possibly from too long a time span between cups of coffee. Damn waitress. Doc said the x-rays and cat scan looked o.k.. so tell Tammy more coffee, and as soon as I got a bagfull of liquid down with an I.V. I could go home. I asked if I could get the bag to go, and he said no. Same answer to punching a straw hole in the bag. Same answer to Linda squeezing the bag.But the bag finally got empty, and we left the hospital in time to go straight to Bella Vita for dinner. Linda had picked me up at the hopital in her car, so I didn't have my cane  but I leaned on her long enought to get seated.Spotting my hospital bracelets, Tina asked about them, so I asked her if I could borrow her switchblade to cut them off with. She said something about not having one, and Nea/Nia said I asked the wrong one for the switchblade, but hers was at home, so Tina brought scissors and cut them off. We had a good dinner, and when it came time to leave, not having my cane, I asked Tina if she could help me stand up. She said "Seriously?", and I said yeah, so she pried me out of the chair without having to lift me, stood there holding my hand until she was sure I was stable, then let me go. She asked Linda what should she have done if I started to fall, and Linda said "Just get out of the way".

GEMINI MAN
geminiauthor.blogspot.com
Copyright 2013

TRUE ???? TOO # 2

2-13

TRUE ????  TOO                                                                                                 #2

Darlene had a big blowout birthday party, and I think she must have friends from all over, cause Rendon don't have that many people. She said there were 800 people, but I'm pretty sure there were 801 people there. Luma took the blame/credit for dropping the birthday cake on the floor, but she gave Darlene a choice of Chocolate Cheese Cake, Oatmeal Cheesecake, Strawberry Cheesecake, or Cheese Cheesecake as a replacement.(Something about a 2 for 1 sale on cheese). I guess Darlene don't like cheesecake cause she said she'd rather scrape the original up off the floor. The cake tasted fine and wasn't in the slightest gritty. There was music, and Chester ( who says he doesn't have any rythm) danced with most of the women there, some of whom agreed that he don't have any rythm.

Tammy was absent from the festivities, and her excuse was that she would have had to perform her famous "ladder" dance, and she was afraid someone would look up her dress while she was on the ladder, and even though I told her she could be starkers underneath the dress, and as long as she didn't forget to wear her "Lone Ranger" mask, nobody would know who was on the ladder. Of course if she danced often enough that folks could remember her steps, she might have to switch to a Zorro mask to keep her identity secret.

When last we spoke, I related an "egg tossing" event that took place a t Bella Vita. I know that some of you are really skeptic, but the egg toss actually did happen. Here is the rest of that story.

After breaking the egg I tossed to/at her, Tammy came out of the kitchen, holding yet another egg in her hand. She stopped at the end of my table, and said: "Was it Burt or Jim who threw the egg at me?" I was going to "man up" and admit that Jim did it, but when I raised my hand for permission to speak, Tammy took that as an admission of guilt, took one step forward, and brought that egg down, forcefully, on the top of my head. I was expecting to feel goo running down my neck into my shirt collar, and down my face into my mustache. I stayed remarkably dry, and gingerly began feeling the top of my head. At that point. something bounced off my nose and landed in my coffee. I fished it out with my fork, and it was a piece of mushroom. Further exploration into my hair revealed Onion, olives, sausage, bell pepper, jalepenas, cheese, Sunflower seeds, almonds, peanuts, grapes, and a partridge in a pear tree. This was all fresh stuff, just like Luma serves from the kitchen. Turns out that Tammy, meticulously cut a small hole in an egg, drained out the egg, washed the shell out with a scrub brush, rinsed it out twice, dried it thoroughly, then finished up.

As I was paying up at the register, I noticed the LAST item on my check, and the notation:

1 EGG-SHELL omelette-NO CHARGE.