TRUE ???? # 32
Carol closed up shop for one day to attend a food convention. I think the girls also attended, tho I have not been told whether coercion was a factor. Carol entered into negotiations with Ben E. Keith for some hippopotamus for the cafe, and they kept telling her "it's out of season, or regulations won't permit, or we can't find Africa, and other such nonsense until Carol finally laid down the law, and said "You will either supply Rendon Cafe with the hippo's we need, or you will furnish Rendon Cafe employees with Ben E. Keith T shirts in perpetuity, or until Curtis shoots a hippo, whichever comes first." The fact that the girls are wearing those T shirts shows just how Carol can't be trifled with.
Sheridan heard that you can clean your eyeglasses in a washing machine just like you can your socks, so she gave it a try, but said she won't do it again cause it made her nose hurt.
Chester came in with very dark glasses on, saying his doctor told him not to get in the sun without those glasses. Roy said he always knows what's going on with Chester by looking in his eyes, so now his only guage is how much Chester's head is glowing.
Heather passed by my coffee cup (which was by the way, laying on it's side) 3 times before she noticed it. When she picked it up, I said "Not to worry. It's only been 22 minutes on it's side," whereupon she immediately took the clock off the wall in the kitchen. Now Carol thinks Burt is a clock watcher.
Roy said before he dies, he wants an electric car, and a windmill to generate his own electricity. He read TRUE ???? for the first time that day, so if he decides to read another issue, here's how he can solve his problem.
First thing to do is strip down a car to get rid of all the excess weight, such as engine, transmission, differential, mufflers, catalytic converters, gas tank, brakes, etc. Some of the essentials you won't want to be without, such as cup holders and air conditioner, which will of course have to be converted to A.C. Mount your windmill directly to the car, putting one leg of the tower over each of the 4 wheels on the car, for equal weight distribution. Don't skimp on the duct tape, as you want a solid hookup. Buy 167 Mag Lite flashlights. They are extremely strong, and very light weight, which is what we want. Each of those Mags holds 4 Dcell batteries, which will power your CD player, and the windmill will recharge the batteries, wired up with baling wire. The windmill provides the power to make the car go, with some power left over. The only drawback to this design, is in the delivery of the windmills power to your house to make the lights work.
This will require that you move to West Texas so there is ample wind to generate electricity as well as push the car. Be sure you have an ample supply of extension cord, so you won't get caught out somewhere without enough cord to reach your house from wherever you might happen to be, else your lights might go out at home.
Curtis told me this morning that he missed a coyote. With a rifle. With a scope on it. Do you think it might be just barely possible that the reason he hasn't gotten a hippopotamus is because ????????????????
I know it seems hard to believe, but Curtis found a rock in the parking lot and brought it into the cafe. I suggested we have a celebration, but Curtis thought his rock wasn't pesentable enough for celebration, so he asked James if he would wash the rock. James replied "of course" and took said rock into the kitchen. He returned shortly with a rock with a shine on it, and a smile on it's face, which it now has. Since Curtis had ripped the rock away from all it's kith and kin, James, to make sure it wasn't lonely or homesick, ensconced it in a bed of lettuce, and you could tell by the smile on it's face it thought it was back in a field. A fieldstone, as it were.
Gemini Man
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