TRUE ???? #45

12-14-11

TRUE ???? # 45

This years TIBTACHPLF (The In Between Thanksgiving And Christmas Holiday Pot Luck Feast) was a big success, with 58 people showing up in festive mood. People came from as far away as Bogata and Retta City, and Chester and Sally cut short their Seminar, Haitian Voodoo-How it's practiced, where it's practiced, and how to remove a spell from yourself and transfer it to somebody you REALLY don't like, which was conducted in Haiti by Chester, Sally, and the Haitian Voodoo Priestess, Gertrude. They plan on bringing their seminar to Rendon as soon as they can get the discrepancies in Sally's Passport ironed out, meanwhile she has her birth certificate and work permit in order.

I heard someone ask Chester if those voodoo rituals really have naked people dancing to drumbeats around a fire, so It seems there is at least some interest in Voodoo rituals. Renato immediately volunteered to be the drummer if there was ever a ritual at the cafe, saying he had the only drum in Texas (or maybe even the whole Southwest) that was the Correct drum for that ritual. I told him he would have to check with "Hottie" Carol, since it is her cafe and she might not want somebody pounding drums in there, lest it might crack the plaster.

Turns out Carol "cleans up real nice", and she sported a new dress to the soiree instead of her Chef's uniform and big hat. She did have a big hat on for a while, but it was a cowboy hat, as it should be, and the dress could handle breakfast, lunch, dinner, an evening out on the town, and hunting on the weekend, as she almost disappeared when she stood up against the Christmas tree. It was o.k. with the cowboy boots, but we'll have to wait and see how "Hottie Carol" and her camo dress work with hunting boots. She said she could not wear that dress in the kitchen, cause in camo, not being able to see yourself and all, she'd be running into herself all the time. The dress is not really camo, but has an array of greens that do a good job.

Eddie D., Karen D, and Brad D came all the way from some Hill that is way to hell and gone somewhere South of Midlothian, where they have all those weird lights in the sky. I asked him about those lights, and he said they need more of them, so if you have any extra weird lights, send your excess to: Eddie D, somewhere, but not IN Midlothian. I'm sure he'd be appreciative.

Ron and Anne C flew in from Tyler to Dallas, then took the bus from Dallas to Rendon. I asked Ron if it shouldn't have been done the other way, and he said "NAH". He's trying to get a million miles on a bus since he retired. I think it's just possible he needs more to do, but Anne thinks he's afraid he might run off and join the Air Force again if he gets around an airplane too much.

Trish is the better half of Renato with the drum, who you've already met. Trish builds websites, working about 20 hours a day for herself, then she drinks a cup of coffee and works the other 20 trying to keep Google afloat. Since I know everything there is to know about computers, I rarely ever have to call her up at 2:00 a.m. to find out why my computer is not doing whatever it is not doing at the time.

***I asked Hottie Carol if she's going to continue having these informal get togethers, and she didn't know. She's been doing her 7 days a week thing for over a year, and she might be nearing
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burnout. She probably needs to relax and regroup.***


We know from experience that she don't do well in an airplane, so she should probably take a cruise to the Caribbean so she can learn some Haitian Voodoo. Then she could help Chester and Sally and Voodoo Priestess Gertrude with their Voodoo Rituals. There's this Romanian/German/Brazilian/American/Gypsy/Texan drummer boy I know who has the proper drum and would be happy to help out.

I was really surprised at how many people were there that could not tell the Hippo meat from the ham. Hippo doesn't taste anything like ham. Looks like it, but tastes like chicken. I thought one of the birds was Madagascar pigeon, but Jim assured me that both birds were in fact turkey, as advertised. There wasn't much of anything left over, so I guess everybody thought everything tasted fine.. That's not really a surprise, since there are some damn good cooks among those folks attending the TIBTACHPLF. I ain't one of them, contrary to what somebody told Sheridan, saying that I made that chocolate dessert. That was Linda's, I just put the recipe in one of the issues of TRUE ???? My idea of "cooking" for a two week hunting trip is a case of Wolf brand Chili, and a case of toilet paper. "Nuff said.

Jim E wants to try his hand at grilling a Nile crocodile, and wants to know if anybody has a 16 foot long rotisserie he might borrow. Curtis says he's pretty sure the Nile River runs along the Eastern edge of his deer lease, and he'll try to bag a croc for the pot. He said he had bagged a hippo for the cafe, and while he was rounding up enough help to help with the field dressing, a band of County Cork "little people" absconded with it, leaving in it's place a pot of gold, which Curtis immediately threw in the river, "little people" gold being cursed and all. We could probably have used the gold to buy a croc and a hippo, then had Sheridan give the curse to some Retturds as a Christmas present from all of us.


Gemini Man

Geminiauthor.blogspot.com

Copyright 2011

TRUE ???? # 44

12-14-11

TRUE ???? # 44

I told Sharon E, that I would figure out a way for her to drive, without having to buy a vehicle with hand controls. The prototype works well, I think, but Jim might have another viewpoint. Bringing the food to the cafe for the potluck, she drove from her house, which I did not see so therefore cannot verify, and had no problems. She pulled into the cafe parking lot without difficulty, cut three or four donuts, then parked in the handicapped slot,without knocking down the sign, I might add. When I asked for the reason for the donuts, her explanation satisfied me, but Jim might not concur. Sharon knows how to drive and everything, but can't feel her feet with the pedals. Here is how she and I solved the problem, realizing of course that Jim might want to tell a different version.

Can't feel your feet = not knowing how much pressure to apply to the gas pedal and the brake pedal. Since I subscribe to the KISS method for doing most everything, that's what I applied here. (For those who may not be acquainted with the KISS method, it means Keep It Simple, Stupid.)

I converted her vehicle to hand controls for about $4.00 for twine, a couple of eye-bolts, and a couple of small pulleys. Jim drilled the holes in her feet cause I didn't have a drill. We installed one eye bolt in each of her feet, halfway between the ankle and the toes for balance. We decided the pulleys weren't going to work, so we'll save them for another project. Then we tied a big (really big)knot in one end of the twine, pulled the line through the eye-bolt in her right (gas pedal) foot up to the knot, which prevents the twine from going all the way through the eye-bolt. Then we cut the twine to a proper length to reach and tie to, her right arm. We first took the twine up through the steering wheel, but then discovered that made her pedals do strange things every time she turned the wheel, so outside the steering wheel is the way to go.

Then we just repeated the procedure for the left (braking) foot. Since you never have to use the brake and the gas pedal at the same time, she is always left with one arm to steer with. Very simple. To go, let your right arm(gas pedal arm)down toward the steering wheel. To slow, raise your arm up a little. Braking is even easier. Remember, she can feel and use her leg. Just step on the brake pedal and push down until the damn thing stops.

Donuts? Jim was little worried as she pulled into the parking lot and stepped out before the vehicle stopped completely. Sharon wanted to see if he could reach back in and grab a turkey before she had to park.

Gemini Man

geminiauthor.blogspot.com

copyright 2011