Friday, April 20, 2012

TRUE ???? # 49

4-20-12

TRUE ???? # 49

"Hottie" Carol found a snake in her truck the other day, and was looking for some way to kill it. Curtis told her that the snake was not poisonous, and since it was only about 4 feet long, it would be advantageous for her to keep it, as it would be a good pest control method. I agree with that totally, and went to have a look at her "pet" snake. I'm not afraid of snakes, and don't think anyone should be. For this reason, and because there is plenty of time, I have not as yet told "Hottie Carol" that if she feeds that snake all the rats, mice, rabbits, squirrels, and various other mammals it can eat, in just a few short years her ANACONDA will be about 16 feet long and able to eat her truck and various customers. I feel certain that Curtis did NOT know it is an Anaconda, as I'm sure he would never knowingly endanger Carol or any of her customers.

Somebody at the cafe really likes Lacy. After these people left, she went to bus their table and this red thing was sticking up leaning against the salt and pepper shakers, She called "Hottie" Carol over, and Carol laughed so hard I had to know what was going on. On the red place mat for the table, someone had writtin their name, number, and particulars with a smiley face. Since this gentleman may be new to the cafe and may have no idea what TRUE ??? is all about, maybe never having seen one, I'll forego the presses credo of "the people's right to know", and skip the details such as name, number, and other pertinent information until such time as the person in question has acquainted himself with TRUE ???? to the point he will know whether to step up or not.

We have not seen or heard from The Wild Bunch for some time, and some folks may not be aware that they have been incarcerated in the State Calaboose just up the road. That institution has the word "vita" in it's name. I am almost certain that word means "life", but I'm not clear as to whether that means the Wild Bunch is serving a "life" sentence, or their "life" is enhanced by being there, or what. I am assuming that whatever their transgression, Chester must not have been caught, because I see him occasionally, and one can only surmise that Sally is on some sort of "work release" program, as I see her sporadically. I'll let you know if I hear any rumors of "escape."

Sanora slipped a "ringer" into the coloring contest, and won, so I asked "the ringer" if she would mind coloring against me, as Carol won't believe I'm just a big for my age 8 year old. "The ringer", (whose name I promise to get in print) said she wouldn't be afraid to color against me if I was 150 years old and she had to color with one hand tied behind her. That's confidence.

Some of you may know that we have a new German Shepherd puppy. When we took him to the vet this morning for puppy shots, we went from there to the cafe to show him to Carol. Not being able to take a dog into the cafe and Carol being "so far behind another minute won't matter", she came out to the Bronco to see Black Magic. While smooching our puppy, she inadvertently leaned against my truck with her elbows. We left to take Magic home, then returned to the cafe for lunch. Carol said she had a bone to pick with me, and laid the last copy of TRUE ???? on our table. She then fiddled with her phone a bit, ( I am aware that some of you may not know that you can fiddle with these smart phones, but I understand the next generation you can play like a banjo.) and produced some pictures of her (Carol) elbows. You would have thought she'd been playing War Games in a t shirt. She had rubbed 4 months of grass growing dirt off my Bronco. When I said she had set me back 4 months in my sodding effort, she told Darla to give our check to somebody else. The 4 gentlemen sitting at the table next to us didn't catch it until they were almost ready to leave, at which point they politely declined our generous offer of them paying our check.

Now I guess I'll have to put that dirt back on the Bronco with a trowel.

Gemini Man

Geminiauthor.blogspot.com

Copyright 2012

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

TRUE ???? # 48

4-18-2012

TRUE ???? # 48

While I was having a Burt's Taco for breakfast, Ash poured me some coffee and asked if I wanted her to mow my lawn. You all know that I am such a workaholic I could never allow someone else to mow my grass, so I declined and asked her if she was needing some extra money and was mowing lawns for it. She said no, and she hadn't planned to accept money. She does some charity work, and it was time for her to do something for someone older than dirt, and I was the only one she knew that old. I told her that Curtis was probably that old, and maybe Chester, but she said she was pretty certain that I was way older than them, maybe even them put together. I politely refused her offer, but said I'd happily let her wash the Bronco. She politely declined and said maybe Lacy would wash my car. When I asked Lacy if she would wash the Bronco, she smiled brightly and said I must be an apple short of a fruit basket if I thought I could get her to wash my car. She then proceeded, at length, to tell me what all I must have wrong with me to ask such a question. Then Lacy made a very good suggestion. She said: "Why, with such a good start at being covered with dirt, it would be a shame to wash the Bronco. Why don't you just keep adding a little more dirt and filth every day, then get Curtis to sod the Bronco. Then as soon as the grass is long enough, let Ashley mow the grass on the Bronco."

As you all know, I ponder occasionally, so I'm going to ponder this for awhile.
The only problem I have with the idea, is that I have no idea where I can get some red grass.


Gemini Man

Geminiauthor.blogspot.com.

Copyright 2012