Roy drove to the
cafe the other day on his tractor. I expect that soon Curtis will see that as some sort of challenge, and drive his own tractor up to the cafe. If this were Indiana or some other place far removed from the Mason-Dixon line or the Chisolm Trail, one might expect to see tractors engaging in pulling contests. Up there where they have all the corn and wheat in the world, a tractor could be expected to excel at pulling. Here though, speed is the norm, as we use tractors for racing and hunting., At the moment, Curtis is the King of the Grasshopper hunts with a tractor, but it could just be that Roy has decided to unseat Curtis, and has thrown down the guantlet,
Roy's tractor is at the moment outfitted with hay gathering equipment, but I believe it only takes a short time to put on the grasshopper calls, herding panels, bells, whistles, klieg lights, and a couple of extra large Conibear traps, to make it ready for North Texas Grasshopper hunting. I don't know how evenly the tractors are matched for speed, but Roy does have a street rod, though he denies driving it fast, but he at least knows what speed is. More details will be forthcoming as I learn more about Roy and Curtis' intent.
Carol broke her eyeglasses in a recent soccer match with a diving headbutt to the ball that prevented a score from the opposing team. Her optometrist has let her down with replacement glasses, so she's been trying to repair the broken frames, which broke the glasses in half between the nose pieces. I suggested 2 monacles, but she has to squint too much for that, so here is my next best suggestion.
Put a one inch long piece of duct tape, sticky side up, on a bare table. Have a second, matching piece of tape ready at hand. Lay both halves of the glasses on their lenses, earpieces pointed up, on the first piece of tape, centering the break in the frames in the middle of the tape. Carefully place the second piece of tape sticky side down over the broken frames, keepin the two pieces of tape aligned along the edges, with the broken frame sandwiched in between. You will need a helper to carefully lift the glasses by the earpieces, making certain to maintain alignment. Then staple the two pieces of tape together with the frame break evenly spaced between the ends of the staples. This will require 4 staples. One below the crosspiece, one above, on the inside of the glasses, and the same on the outside of the glasses. These staples will keep the broken ends of the crosspiece pulled together. Lay the glasses back down, on the lenses, earpieces pointing up. Take several wraps of duct tape, this time with the edges of the tape next to the lenses wrapping the tape around the broken crosspiece, between the nosepieces. Select a rubber that is large enough to put over the earpieces just behind the hinges. The rubber band keeps tension pulling the broken pieces of the crosspiece together, The band must be large enough to go over the bill of your ball cap from the top of the glasses, and under your nose from the bottom of the glasses. Adjust the tension so the side of the rubber band under your nose does not pull the glasses down too far, nor the part over the bill of the cap pull up too far. One downside to this method is that it kinda makes the glasses stay with the ball cap, but that's not really a problem unless you lay the cap down and then sit on it. This process has not been submitted to Red Green for evaluation, but I feel certain it would meet nearly 1/2 of the 50% requirements for uses of duct tape.
Gemini Man
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