TRUE # 34

TRUE ????   #  34

The other day I happened to notice that my name was misspelled on the B'day board. Spelled with an er instead of a ur. Not being a picky person, I simply asked Sheridan if she would put a curse on whatever blackhearted person spelled my front name with an "er" instead of the correct "ur". Then Sharon , sitting right there with Sheridan, spoke up and said she was the one who had spelled it wrong, and she was very sorry, but she thought it was spelled with an er rather than a ur. Of course I immediately foregave her, but by the time Sharon started talking, Sheridan was already into her curse, so now Sharon, whose name is Eller, spells it with a "ur" instead of an "er", so until the curse wears off at Halloween, Sharon will spell her name Ellur instead of Eller. Sheridan is very fast with curses, though she would like to not be a witch.

Bob Cole needs some dynamite to get rid of some bees in one of his buildings. I told him dynamite might be a little hard on the building, but he said shooting them just takes too long.

Chester was trying to improve his night vision. I told him that taking off his sunshades would help some, but he wanted to try just driving everywhere in reverse. Something to do with the negative tint on the back glass of his Chrysler. That seemed to be working, but this belligerent tree kept trying to run him down. Despite Chester's dodging, twisting, and turning, the tree finally got him. Chester's keychain landing light prevented the damage to the Chrysler from being worse by directing its brilliant beam into the eyes of the owl that was driving the tree, thereby slowing the tree down some. That McGuyver keychain comes in really handy sometimes.

Carol was letting Linda try a taste of beef stew before ordering, as Linda had a tooth pulled a couple of days ago, and chewing was really painful, and she thought she might have to order mush for dinner Friday night. Carol put a piece of meat in a bowl to see if Linda could chew it without too much pain and/or difficulty. Linda gave it a try, and pronounced that piece of meat a piece of carrot. Curtis laughed, Pat laughed, and I nearly showered everyone close by with coffee trying to keep from laughing. Carol said she had not realized she couldn't tell the difference between carrots and meat. Here's what I think happened.

Carol has been baking pies almost non-stop for days to make sure everybody's Mother has a happy Mother's day. I think an amalgam of fumes from strawberries, peaches, pecans, coconut, peanut butter, chocolate, cream, apples, apricot, lemon, key lime, banana split, buttermilk, and Oreo's has effected Carol's vision to the point she might, for a short time, mistake a piece of carrot for a piece of meat. I don't think we have anything to worry about, as she makes neither carrot pies or meat pies.

Gemini Man

Copyright 2011

geminiauthor.blogspot,com