Ya'll remember now that Chester and Sally are gone up to yankee land, you may feel free to talk about them as much as you want to, and they will never probably never possibly never maybe never most likely never could might very well could probably will with absolute certainty will find out about it, so be careful what you say.
Pat was making this funny motion this morning, and said something about this "rotatey thing-a-ma-jig". Pat was with the Wild Bunch, and as I am a "honorary Wild Bunch member", I can sit in the booth next to them when they have commandeered my table, so I was in close proximity. Sheridan asked me if I was getting anything for "TRUE", and I said I was going to have to find out what a "rotatey thing-a-ma-jig" was. Jim and Sharon both said she was talking about a bar-b-que rotisserie. As I am writing this for TRUE, we all know I must be absolutely accurate, so I dug out my copy of " Merriam-Webster's Eleventh Edition of Colloquialisms- How To Use Them, When To Use Them, and What They Mean".
Under "Rotatey thing-a-ma-jig", it says: "A spit, through a beef, buffalo, elk, moose, hog, or other large animal, that is turned with a handcrank to rotate the animal over the fire." On the other hand,The hippo,on a spit, differs in that the spit is a section of railroad track, bent appropriately and turned with an internal combustion engine, usually a 6 cylinder Chevrolet, which has the perfect engine RPM at full throttle to rotate a hippo, and is called a "Rotatey whatcha-ma-callit." Say what you will, but Pat knows her Colleywhynots, which is aWest Texas colloquialism for "Colloquialism".
*Carol didn't tell me what we are calling this, so I guess I'll just have to make up a name, hard as that is to do. A get together, similar to the pot luck supper we had *last November. Each person brings something, and three dollars. Last time we had like 73 people sign up, and 64 showed up and had a great time and a lot of *good food. If you made it in November, you know it's worth your time and effort, so if you didn't make the last one, be sure to get there for this replay. July 3,2011 *, at The Rendon Cafe, after hours. That is a Sunday, after 6:00 P.M. The night BEFORE the 4th of July, so you can still make your 4th celebration, unless you are *having it in D.C., which would be like a jail sentence.This one will be called The Day Before The 4th Of July Celebration Celebration, or TDBT4thOJCC for *short. Sign up at the Cafe.
Carol and James have acquired a GHOST at their house. It shuffles the dogs around where they are not supposed to be. I can see all kinds of problems with a ghost at your house, BUT. It would be cool if there was a ghost at the Cafe. We would be patronizing the only cafe in the Lone Star State that had its OWN ghost. Think of the fun we could have when Chester gets back and finds a ghost sitting at his booth. We could call Ghostbusters. Hell, we could BE Ghostbusters. In nice weather, Roy could drive the ghost around in his street rod. People would follow him to the cafe. When the Ben E. Keith delivery gets to the cafe, we could have the ghost make the delivery man unload the truck, and James could sit with his feet up and drink coffee. I heard Curtis say he would volunteer to help the ghost if he could "borrow" the ghost one night a week. Sounds like somebody might owe Curtis money. Sheridan, can you put a spell on a ghost? If so, we Really NEED a ghost!!!
Since it does take some effort to sort the real truth from the maybe truth, from this day forth, if you see a star * next to something, it is to be taken as the absolute truth. No s!!!
**Alpine Shooting Range is for Sale, if you happen to be needing a shooting Range. Even if you don't need a shooting range, Alpine is still for sale. A $3,500,000.00 investment would earn you about $300,000.00 a year in income. Think about it, Sheridan. That would be better than giving all your money to Oklahoma.
Before Curtis wears out the legs on my chair so it would only be tall enough for my chin to reach the table, I'd like to suggest that he use his handy-man talents and put wheels on his chair, and my chair. That would make the both of them much easier to move. We could also have chair races, as long as the wheels had good bearings and didn't make much noise, so Carol couldn't catch us. I can see where that might be a problem, since there would likely be wagers involved, and and a crowd cheering on "Their guy" would certainly alert Carol, unless we could make her believe everyone is cheering a football game on the radio. I can see where that might be a problem if it's not football season. We could open an indoor shooting range in the back room, and the gunfire would mask wheel noise AND cheering. And we could sell tickets.
While I had the Merriam-Webster out, I checked to see if there was a colloquialism for what Carol was doing Friday night. She had that pastry decorating bag out and was busily applying cake icing to her mouth and tongue. Of course she was not actually touching the frosting thingy to her mouth or tongue, but applying a white frosting from about a foot away. The girl is damned accurate with that thing. I kept expecting her to squeeze frosting in her eyes or up her nose, but she kept it all on her tongue or lips so it could be wiped off with her tongue. Websters says that is called "Frostingy Thingy Applique". Her degree of accuracy is only ½ smidgeon away from a Doctorate in Frostingy Thingy Applique Extraordinairre. As soon as she can apply that frosting with the right hand while simultaneously hitting a man sized target with a 9mm with her left hand, she can be called Doctor Carol Wells, FTAE.
Gemini Man
Copyright 2011
Geminiauthor.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment