TRUE ???? # 10

    While Curtis and I were talking about an upcoming grasshopper fry, we heard a loud OUCH from over by the icemaker. Tammy came around the register stand rubbing her leg. When I asked what the ouch was all about, she said she had bumped her shin on something. Remembering that there is nothing back there you could bump anything on, much less a shin, I asked what she walked into. She pointed to a cardboard box just around the teamaker stand, and the lid was open and the flap was at about shin height to Tammy. I thought the problem was solved and went back to my grasshopper discussion. About that time the front door banged open and James jumped inside singing: "Here I come to save the day". When I asked if that song wasn't sung by a mouse, I noticed for the first time that James, resplendent in his brilliant yellow and red Mighty Mouse costume, was looking at the box with the open flap.

       "A crime has been done here." he said. "A hole has been cut in the kitchen wall to allow someone to push that box into Tammy's path, thereby banging her shin, and causing pain."

    Curtis immediately climbed into a booth and took up a defensive posture against the West wall, saying: "You can't blame that on me. I would never hurt Tammy. She might give me yesterday's coffee." When you have been chased as much as Curtis has by hordes of vicious grasshoppers, you tend to get just the tiniest bit paranoid.

    James whipped out a steel tape measure and began taking measurements of everything. He went into the kitchen and measured the diameter of the hole in the wall. Then he had Carol sit down on the floor and he measured the length of her foot with it against the wall. Then he measured the distance from the inside wall of the kitchen, through the hole, to the box. Then he had Carol stand up and very carefully measured the inside seam of her right leg. (Relax. She's his wife) After checking all his measurements, which he had written down in a little black book, he started packing up, getting ready to leave.

    I said: "James, don't those measurements show that Carol cut the hole in the wall so she could tape the flap on that box to  90 degree angle, then position the box beside the teamaker. Then, when she saw Tammy walk over that way, she merely stuck her leg through the hole in the wall and pushed the box out just far enough for Tammy to bump her shin on the lid. Doesn't it prove that?"
With a flourish of his cape as he went out the door, James said over his shoulder:

                                                "I DON'T CARE."

Gemini Man
Copyright 2010