TRUE ???? # 16

Since reading True # 11, several readers want to know where they can get "SWILL", an ingredient in the recipe for the cure for withdrawal symptoms from a whole lot of coffee to practically no coffee. Swill has been around for hundreds of years, if not thousands of years.

You can find it in any orphanage in the country, and in an increasing number of old folks homes as well. The old guys will fight to keep it, so you will have an easier time of it taking it away from the orphans.

Swill does not "keep" well, so you cannot take a huge supply at one time. A gallon or two should see you through the withdrawal symptoms, as the dosage is only 2 ounces at a time, but a gallon would "go bad" in less than a week, so plan on several "visits" to the orphanage, where it is made up fresh practically every morning. There is now an "instant swill", but it doesn't work as well for withdrawal, and from everything I hear, it tastes much worse than regular swill.

This evening Carol was standing behind the register slapping her face. My first thought was that she was getting fatigued and slapping herself to stay awake. Turns out she was chastising herself for saying a disparaging word about someone. No one heard her but herself, so she is the only one who knows (or WAS the only one who knows) that she even disparaged someone. I don't believe it had anything to do with the Health Department inspector who gave her high grades on the cleanliness of the kitchen. She was quick witted enough to hide the orange folder with all the TRUE ???? in it, or he might have wanted to see the cooking-oil burning pit on the roof, and she had been worried about the 90 mile an hour biscuit coming out of the kitchen. I convinced her that the Dept. would only be interested in that if the biscuit had hit the floor, and she had then tried to serve it

Curtis drove into the parking lot and I put a shoulder to the door so he couldn't get in. Carol turned off the "OPEN" sign, and Curtis just made a U turn and drove out of the parking lot. Carol, Linda, and I ran into the parking lot waving and yelling: "Curtis, come back Curtis, come back", but he just drove on off looking for Jack Palance. I went back and finished my coffee, then Linda and I left. Some of you may not know that Curtis drives really, really slow. As we got in the Bronco, Curtis was just making a left at the light in front of Myrtles, so I stepped on it, and we exited the parking lot amidst a shower of dirt and gravel. I made the left at the light on two wheels and Curtis had just made a right then another left. We caught up with him so fast it startled him to see that red Bronco so close, and he pulled off into the ditch, or at least I think he pulled over intentionally. We told him the cafe wasn't really closed, and he said: "I don't care".

Gemini Man

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