TRUE ???? # 11

Since Tammy's house burned down, Rick said she could stay at the cafe 24 hrs a day. She could bathe at the car wash. Jim wanted to know which car wash. Photo op, you know.

Curtis was trying for, and missing, plenty of grasshoppers. He said he was having a problem reading, cause his specs were making the words jump around. Grasshoppers were too, evidently. I tried to tell Curtis that 78 cups of coffee were a little too much, and he actually had the shakes rather than words and grasshoppers jumping around. He promised, faithfully, to cut back to 74 cups a day. I told him that was too big a jump at one time, and he could possibly suffer withdrawal symptoms. A better way would be to replace every sixth cup of coffee with 2 ounces of beet juice, 2 ounces of swill, 2 ounces of molasses, and 2 ounces of Everclear.(2 ounces of Cuban rum could be used if you can't find Everclear.. Cuban rum is 190 proof, and Everclear is 200 proof.)You could extract Nitro from dynamite, then condense the Everclear from the nitro, but is is risky, especially if you have the shakes.

Tammy told Carol to "throw Burt a biscuit", whereupon Carol propped open the kitchen door, took a big windup, and this biscuit came out of the kitchen at 91 miles an hour. That is very close to Nolan Ryans record, but nobody would score against Carol, because I have it on good authority that a biscuit does not go very far when hit with a baseball bat. We will not discuss whether I caught the biscuit.

Justin and Victoria take turns beating each other. She beats him to the kitchen, and he beats her to the bathroom.

I just learned why the cafe stores its ladder on the roof. James puts on his Mighty Mouse costume, flies up on the roof, lowers the ladder, carries the old cooking oil up the ladder, pulls the ladder up behind him, burns the old oil in a pit made for that to save recycling fees for Rick, where that high up no one can see the smoke, then drops the buckets off the roof,  flies off the roof, leaving the ladder up there where no one can use it to find the blackened burned oil pit.

Seems perfectly logical to me.
 
 Raymond just admitted to starting the lawnmower and just letting it run awhile so Toby will hear it and think he is mowing. Raymond, Toby KNOWS you ain't mowing.

To reflect my Facebook and Blog pages, my name has changed . I am now:

Gemini Man
Copyright 2010