A lot has happened since we last spoke. Carol was looking everywhere for her “ankle bracelet”. When I volunteered to help look, she said she was pretty sure she could find it without help. When I stated that the café wasn’t all that large, but still large enough to make finding something as small as an ankle bracelet difficult to find, she admitted that the bracelet she was looking for is not really that small. Seems that some folks refer to them as “ankle monitors”, and use them to keep track of some individuals. Maybe someday Carol will tell us WHY she had an ankle monitor, and better yet, how she disarmed it. Since she has taken to using a weedeater to kill mosquitoes, it is just possible she got in trouble with the AWMKL(awmikel) or Anti Weedeater Mosquito Killing League, and somehow interfered with their mosquito breeding program. Without the AWMKL, mosquitoes might be an endangered species.
Raymond did not have enough to do the other day, so he was sweeping dirt up onto the “porch” so Tammy could sweep it off. Then he would come in and send Tammy outside. As soon as she would pick up the broom, Raymond would yell “order up”. Frazzled was a good definition for Tammy.
Darlene came in at noon Sunday, staggering. She said she was drunk, but I took up for her, saying she was merely dizzy. I told her a sure test for dizziness was to see if she could skip around the corner coming back from the restroom. I was turned away talking to someone when she came back, saying she did in fact skip around the corner. I’m not absolutely certain that Linda and Curtis would not lie, but they both said she did in fact skip around the corner, so I guess we can say for sure that Darlene did in fact skip around the corner, which means she was positively dizzy, and not blind drunk like she claimed.
There is one chair in the whole café that perfectly fits Curtis, so would whoever keeps moving it from my table where Curtis likes to sit so I can’t, please stop moving his chair. I know some people would say it is probably yours truly moving the chair to a different table hoping Curtis won’t notice the different table. That is not so. We all know that Curtis makes regular visits to his doctors office for reading material. He likes that particular table because the light is better there for reading. I did hear someone suggest the other day that we get a floor lamp for Curtis to use, but I can’t remember who said that.
Charlie and Robert have been lulled into thinking they are skating along under the wire as far as this newsletter goes. They just don’t know about all the notes I’m taking, planning on a future Charlie and Robert issue.
When I drove up to the café the other day, Donde was outside on the phone, waving her arms around like a symphony conductor. When I got inside, Jim (Sharons husband)was also on the phone. Jim and Donde both seemed agitated. It took me a little while to figure out what was going on, and I’m still not 100% positive, but here’s what I think was happening. Jim,(Sharons husband) was in a meeting with Sheridan, Carol, James, Jay, Robert, Charlie, Tammy, Donna, Jim (Darlenes husband), and Darlene. Jim (Sharons husband) was relaying what was said at the table to Donde, outside. Donde was then relaying by semaphore to Bob Cole, who was on top of the tattoo shop. Bob was relaying the conversation by mirror to Curtis, who was on his tractor in the graveyard pretending to be catching grasshoppers. (Grasshoppers like graveyards, but Curtis was only pretending, so he didn’t get any) Curtis was keeping one eye on The Head Shed and one eye on Hooker Corner, just in case.
This gang, inside the café and those outside, are known as The Wild Bunch and they are planning a hostile takeover of The Head Shed, and are getting their ducks in a row, so to speak. I was unable to get close enough to the table to hear what their initial offer was to be, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t to be enough to persuade Michelle/Sharon/Alice to accept their offer, as I did hear Carol say “I think we ought to shoot it out.” That’s what made me think it is to be a “hostile” takeover. In trying to figure out WHAT the Wild Bunch would gain by a takeover, hostile or not, I was stumped for a while, but I believe I’ve got a handle on it now.
If the Wild Bunch can gain control of the Head Shed and it’s parking lot, it would be made into The Big Country Kitchen Annex. The reclining chairs in there would be really comfortable, and a “roving waitress” would be utilized to take orders, call them down to the main café, then a special “shuttle operator” would run food one way, and dirty dishes the other way. If they can get a liquor license, they could replace all the food with peanuts and do away with the shuttle. The Head Shed will, after all, only seat 4 at a time in the comfortable chairs, and another 4 or 5 as “waiters” in the other chairs. The down side might be the limited seating. Or it might be limited parking. Or it might be that with two red lights between the shed and the café, the food would always be cold. Or it might just be that The Head Shed is still too far away from Hooker Corner.
Gemini Man
Copyright 2010
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